22 Jan

Door Management 101: Do Not Be The Doormat

don't be a door mat

Do not be the doormat for abusive people! It’s essential to learn how to NOT be another person’s doormat. Learn how to step through the door and close it behind you.

I was a doormat for years.

People would yell at me, blame me for their issues, call me names, take out their anger on me, and use me. People would wipe their feet, their issues, on me and leave me feeling dirty and used. People that were in my life would abuse me to try to make their life better. I highly doubt they felt better after. I know that I certainly didn’t feel better.

Acting as a doormat for people took its toll on me. I would be stressed out, tired, I hated my life, and I was always trying to make those people happy. The only thing is…I could not make them happy….no matter how hard I tried.

I realized I was a doormat for abusive people.

When I realized this I thought to myself that a doormat sits in front of a door. So, there is a door behind me…and I can just step through that door and close it. I thought about how wonderful it would be to not take on other’s abuse. I thought about how wonderful it would be to not allow bad treatment in my life.

During that time I started to think and act positively in my life. I set a personal boundary that I would not allow poor behaviour towards me. I am not going to say it was easy to stand up for myself. I lost family and ‘friends’. This helped me to realize what a true friend is. This whole ‘no more doormat movement’ in my life really fine-tuned my relationships.

People are lessons in our lives. And maybe that lesson happens in a split moment in a grocery store, or maybe the lesson goes on for years, but the one thing remains the same…people are a lesson in our lives. They are teaching us how we feel about ourselves.

There is that saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Well, it is always a reason and how they decide to interact with me determines the season or lifetime status.

I am happy to say that I graduated from doormat to Door Management.

Life is so much easier now.

Life is so much more peaceful now….on the other side of the door.

If you are a recovering doormat, or you want support on how to be a Door Manager,  I invite you to connect with me by clicking this link http://paulahopwood.ca/life-coaching/

I believe in you,